The Load

When I just can't...


The load gets heavy and I just can't, the bills keep coming and I just can't, the words fail me, the children are adults, the adults are petulant and just cause all kinds of nervousness, and I just can't


I reach out to others and seem to interrupt their routines,
I just can't


God this is Hard.
I didn't know how Hard until now.
I worry, I have bills, ends don't meet, promises are broken and...


I just get tired of the craziness of life.




The response of the spirit is --
and, this is the time to Pray.
When it gets hard, as it often will - just Pray
When the despair feels as though it will overflow
Just Believe
When doubts come to tip the scale over
Have Faith.
Amen.

Ephesians 4:9-13New American Standard Bible (NASB)

⁹ (Now this expression, “He ascended,” what ^[a]does it mean except that He also ^[b]had descended into the lower parts of the earth? ¹⁰ He who descended is Himself also He who ascended far above all the heavens, so that He might fill all things.) ¹¹ And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, ¹² for the equipping of the ^[c]saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; ¹³ until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the ^[d]knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature ^[e]which belongs to the fullness of Christ.

This leads me to believe that we are to grow. To keep growing and look for ways to further knowledge and understanding of the one we place our faith in - Jesus.

It is only b/c I know that Aunt Mary is an ordained pastor and worked as one for a brief time, that I decided to search the Bible for a reference to pastors.

However, finding this passage, brought my thoughts back to me and my decisions through 2016.  I have moments of guilt, uncertainty, pain and melancholy as I think of my former church home and my present one.  Equipping of saint for the work of service.  Grow to serve, know to serve and more than anything serve God.  Be compassionate to fellow persons.  I walk haughty, and angry, and miffed often.  I must really release all of that.

How will I ever reflect Jesus, if I can not get past my own hang ups.

They exist, I know they are there, I will do best not to pick up the hang ups of others and try, actively work on walking humbly through this world.  To God be the glory!