The Load

When I just can't...


The load gets heavy and I just can't, the bills keep coming and I just can't, the words fail me, the children are adults, the adults are petulant and just cause all kinds of nervousness, and I just can't


I reach out to others and seem to interrupt their routines,
I just can't


God this is Hard.
I didn't know how Hard until now.
I worry, I have bills, ends don't meet, promises are broken and...


I just get tired of the craziness of life.




The response of the spirit is --
and, this is the time to Pray.
When it gets hard, as it often will - just Pray
When the despair feels as though it will overflow
Just Believe
When doubts come to tip the scale over
Have Faith.
Amen.

Ephesians 4:9-13New American Standard Bible (NASB)

⁹ (Now this expression, “He ascended,” what ^[a]does it mean except that He also ^[b]had descended into the lower parts of the earth? ¹⁰ He who descended is Himself also He who ascended far above all the heavens, so that He might fill all things.) ¹¹ And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, ¹² for the equipping of the ^[c]saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; ¹³ until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the ^[d]knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature ^[e]which belongs to the fullness of Christ.

This leads me to believe that we are to grow. To keep growing and look for ways to further knowledge and understanding of the one we place our faith in - Jesus.

It is only b/c I know that Aunt Mary is an ordained pastor and worked as one for a brief time, that I decided to search the Bible for a reference to pastors.

However, finding this passage, brought my thoughts back to me and my decisions through 2016.  I have moments of guilt, uncertainty, pain and melancholy as I think of my former church home and my present one.  Equipping of saint for the work of service.  Grow to serve, know to serve and more than anything serve God.  Be compassionate to fellow persons.  I walk haughty, and angry, and miffed often.  I must really release all of that.

How will I ever reflect Jesus, if I can not get past my own hang ups.

They exist, I know they are there, I will do best not to pick up the hang ups of others and try, actively work on walking humbly through this world.  To God be the glory!

Order of Sisters of Mercy

I have come to Mercy Center in San Francisco.
It holds so many mysteries and things waiting to explore.

I never expected to like San Francisco.
I sit and walk and think and pause.

Today (9/24) is Mom's birthday.
How much she like to meditate to just breathe in God's presence
that was what she called it.'

I didn't quite understand it then and not sure I understand now.
Though I have encountered peace and unity.
I have encountered quite moments and alone time.

I have put my mind to praising God.
I hope to truly embrace Jesus and forgive

Forgive me
Forgive my past
Forgive my uncertain future.

And be here.
Be right now.
The pain in my neck that I put to the side
My need to make piles and be surrounded by stuff.

Learning to let go.

I typed and thought all this and then remembered to take a deep refreshing breath.

The Wounded Knee

Today, has been a challenge to step out on faith.
Everytime I am confident and begin to prance and concentrate on the Lord, I have a tingling in my left knee.
However, as soon as I become fearful, or take my mind off the Lord, my leg begins to hurt and grow tight.
Funny is yesterday in the wee hours of the morning I was studying verse and saw a passage which I actually copied into my journal that refers to the Lord and my hind feet.

too many
the answers are flowing to the unanswered
the prayers are being fulfilled
I fear like the winsome dow
not sure where to turn
I again am reminded of a song that asks
"who hears me in the midnight hour"
His timing
His leading
His focus

When waking @ 1:50am causes reflection

Good Morning again world - it is now close to 10am
I awoke whilst you slept
I meditated whilst you dreamt
I planned whilst you imagined.

I am thankful indeed for this day.
It came at a sacrifice though - I haven't slept quite enough
and in fact probably haven't eaten enough either.

I am pretty giddy inside and it may all lead to the time I spent with God.
I pray that the peace of our God of the twilight hour, who is Sovereign and rules over all
be with you right now where you sit, stand, lay - even if you don't believe in Him,
He knows you.  I pray that you will be filled if but for a moment with a peace that is not explainable.

Amen.

Elder Rhonda

Generous - a Christian perspective
Generosity and charity are characteristics of a Christian life. Someone who puts those ideals into practice will prosper, while those who live selfishly will not.
http://biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2011:25&version=NIV

"Prosper" in the Bible: Jeremiah 29:11
These words of comfort were originally spoken to the Israelites living in exile in Babylon. God assured them that despite their present difficulties, He had plans for them--plans for them to prosper and be restored. We don't share that historical context, but God's promise remains: He knows of our struggles and is working to help us prosper, even when we can't see it. 


2 Corinthians 9:6-8

New International Version (NIV)

Generosity Encouraged

⁶ Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. ⁷ Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.